How are you? Good? Bad? Forever tired?
Welcome to a brand new blog post! Today, I'm talking all about why I haven't blogged since the 30th of December 2018.
I got myself a 'proper' job for the Christmas period at somewhere that I absolutely adore. Having a job meant that I was spending most of my time, well, working. If I wasn't spending my time working, I was probably travelling back to my flat from work, or, sleeping. If I got any spare time, then, I ended up relazing/trying to do other things. This all meant that I would write down blog post ideas and then, end up never actually getting around to finishing them off. I'm actually considering creating a blog post about my time working for said job, so if you would like me to create that post, then comment down below.
Carrying on from the above paragraph, I also was juggling uni at the same time as working. Now, doing University can't really be used an a excuse to not blogging as I've been doing Uni and blogging for over a year. Even though this is true, trying to juggle working, being a human and rushing to get deadlines done, means that well, you get sick of looking at a laptop screen really quickly, thus not wanting to do the latter to create blog posts.
This is a major reason as to why I kind of stopped blogging for a while. My mental health ended up in such a bad state, that, i just didn't want to do anything. I just didn't see the point in doing anything, including writing a post for the blog. I just felt like, at the time, everything that I was doing was utter crap, but at the same time, the longer that I left stuff, the more anxious I felt about, if I did write a new post then nobody would notice due to being away for such a long while. Everything just got on top of me. I wrote and deleted posts, I didn't sleep for days, I was an irritable and depressive shit to everyone. When I should've pushed myself into my blog, I just crumbled and sighed every time I loaded the blog up.
This one kind of relates back to my mental health. I love the blogging community with all of my heart. I can't thank enough for when I was first creating 'Jamie Sowden', but the community can be competitive and problematic at times. I know that a fair few blogger friends may read this, so by problematic, I mean that, as bloggers, a lot of us including myself from time to time try to trump each other instead of being an actual community. I just ended up finding myself comparing myself to a lot of other bloggers that I know quite a lot. By doing this, it just reinforced the idea that my blog was, well, garbage. I know that it's not, and trust me, this post isn't a pity party, but when it comes to views and seeing blogger friends get achievements and opportunities that you could only dream of, it makes you wonder, why can't I get that? It also felt worse when you'd see bloggers that create posts with a few lines of content do so well, whereas I was putting my heart and soul into posts with content, accessible pictures, the works. I don't know. I've stopped comparing myself to others, and, I'm slowly getting back to the point where I want to create posts for my own happiness and not for views etc.
The last reason, as to why I stopped blogging for a while, is a simple reason.... I stopped blogging for a while, because, frankly I am a lazy bitch.
So, without further ado, halleloo, I'm back! I won't be sticking to a schedule, as I'm still working out on when I can blog with Uni kicking back in and such.
I hope that you have enjoyed this post. I hope that you come back next time for another blog post.
If you missed my last post then don't forget to read it.
Thanks for reading!