Saturday, 9 May 2015

MIM: Depression

Meow, so todays MIM post is going to be quite a serious one... I tried doing a video on this and it just became really awkward so I'm going to explain it a little bit more detailed in this post. I'm sorry if its's an awkwardly written post. It will also touch on self harmingso if that's triggering for you then it will be best not to read...

So a few years ago, I decided to come out and even though I keep being tempted to do a coming out sort of video/post I came out a while ago and I just felt like there was no need to do anything about it as it may seem a bit click bait-y so if I ever decide to talk about it then realise that its a big deal for me... Quite a lot of my male friends decided to desert me a bit... I don't think that it was even the whole gay thing as I think people have always had an inkling about it but I think that it was the stereotypes that came with the label... A lot of them slightly turned and didn't want anything to do with me after a while and that kind of lowered my self confidence which I suppose is a factor towards it all...

The fact that I was taking my exams in high school at the time and I don't know if it was anxiety or just the whole pressure of it all but with the mixture of everything going on in my life, it kind of just spiralled all out of control and in the end I just didn't really care about anything anymore and this is probably one of the reasons why I'm retaking my GCSE's but I suppose that its a good thing and everything happens for a reason...

One of the things that happened with my depression was self harm and yeah this is probably the triggering bit but it needs to be done. Whilst all of this was happening and whilst I was bottling all of my emotions and thoughts up, I had nothing to let it all out and it kind of all become overwhelming and the only way that I would cope was via self harming and yes it was the worse way of letting my emotions out but it worked for me. I am not glorifying self harm as self harm is letting your emotions out from your head and displaying them in a way that works for you... No one should do it but some people do as its their only outlet. I don't anymore but it was the only way of coping for me at the time.

I hope that you have enjoyed reading my somewhat story of depression. I know its been a bit touchy feely and a bit awkward but I hope you have found this post interesting... Don't forget to check out the awkward video that goes along with this post and I shall see you tomorrow for another Meowing In May post!

Today's Video:

Jamie x

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